Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Women in my family.

Shortly before Christmas one of my favorite aunts died. Now before you go feeling all sorry for me, she had a very peaceful death, after 25 years of every medical problem known to man. It was actually amazing she lived a long as she did, and as a family we were grateful for the prolonged time we had with her and that she was released in a very easy comforting manner. At her request no funeral was held, but instead the family gathered for a BIG party. It was very fitting for my aunt, because in our family she was the organizer of most of the family parties we had when I was growing up. This was just the kind of gathering she would have enjoyed, and probably did enjoy with us….

As a family we gathered, ate of course, and told stories. Each of her three sons told stories of their mother, her husband told stories, and her youngest brother. Several of her grandchildren told stories. As we reflected on her life it occurred to me more than ever before how much I am like my aunt. We have very similar personalities. The things that were important to her, are important to me. They way she treated people is how I try to treat people. The way she viewed life and her medical trials is exactly how I try and view my own struggles.

It made me wonder is it nature or nurture? I have pioneer stalk on BOTH side of my family, including relatives on both side of my family who survived the Martin & Willie handcart companies. There is something to be said for pioneer stalk. Ancestors who braved the elements and physical hardships for the chance at a new and better life. Do those trials they endured alter the DNA for those to come? Do those who come after benefit genetically from those that came before? Darwin said yes with his theory of the survival of the fittest. But are those changes inherent to the DNA or a result of nurture rather than nature?

The generations that have come since my pioneer ancestors have faced their own set of challenges. As the years and generations have progressed, those trials have been more emotional and less physical. But regardless of the trial, the effect is the same, you either become better or bitter. Why have those who have come before me chosen to take a trial and make themselves bitter rather than better? Is the influence on me a result of the example they set for me, or has my DNA been altered through the generations to enable me to choose to be better and not bitter? Or is it a little of both?

Regardless of the answer to questions probably without answer, I am grateful for the heritage of my ancestors, I am grateful for the life my aunt lived, the type of person she was, how she treated others, and how she cared for her family. With any luck I will be just like her when I grow up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for post about your family stock. I, too, am grateful for my heritage. One of my great-greats was the first (insert major religion) to join the church and was a contemporary of Joseph Smith. My relative has been an amazing example to look to all these years.

I found your comments about DNA and what gets passed on to be very interesting. I have a friend with whom I have talked about the same things. In my humble opinion, I think that what our ancestors did with their lives, what they learned, what they felt, etc. IS a part of the DNA that is handed down from generation to generation.

And, I also think about the callings in the pristehood, i.e., how there seem to be certain families through whom leadership comes. I do not know if THAT is part of DNA heritage, or other principles from the pre-existence that lead to multiple members in the same family to be Bishops, Stake Presidents, Patriarchs, etc. etc.

You raised some interesting thoughts. Thank you so much!

I read in one of your former posts that you are an apelate judge? Do you know/work with Judge R. Bench? If so, you are lucky. He is a wonderful man. He was in the Bishopric of a former ward of mine.

Happy New Year and stay safe. :) Duck