tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729095497951129042.post6222560118052094779..comments2023-10-31T06:25:03.349-07:00Comments on Pieces of Me: The energizer bunnyPieces of Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11364908862800192427noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729095497951129042.post-33393316115725893232009-05-13T08:42:00.000-07:002009-05-13T08:42:00.000-07:00Yes, you can post it on your blog!Yes, you can post it on your blog!Pieces of Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11364908862800192427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729095497951129042.post-45464798346553910682009-05-13T06:17:00.000-07:002009-05-13T06:17:00.000-07:00Yes it does - especially coming from someone on th...Yes it does - especially coming from someone on the 'other side' of the relationship. I especially like the part about focusing on what we have rather than on what we are giving up.<br /><br />Would it be OK if I post your response on my blog?Abelard Enigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166049686152203530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729095497951129042.post-47329603044965412502009-05-12T22:24:00.000-07:002009-05-12T22:24:00.000-07:00I am actually flattered you would add me to your b...I am actually flattered you would add me to your blog role.<br /><br />Keeping a marraige alive...that is a difficult question, and one I have struggled with. The bottom line I decided in mixed marriages, is that what ever you choose, whether it is stay together or separate, BOTH parties give up significant things. No answer is perfect and if you sit and wait for the perfect answer you will be sitting a LONG time. You have to pick the answer that is best for you as a couple, and for your children. <br /><br />As for keeping it alive, the first and foremost thing in my mind is my kids. Clearly it is best for them to be with both parents, provided the relationship between the parents can be warm and not full of anger. Granted they will not see a "perfect" relationship, but what relationship whether gay or straight is perfect? But if they see two parents who love and value their children and can work together as partners in the family I think it is healty. The children will probably not see a lot of physical affection between the parents so I think it is important that the children receive a lot of physical affection from the parents. <br /><br />The parents give up a lot....In a mixed marriage it is not a whole relationship. It is part of a relationship. Sometimes we have dreams or fantasays of other relationships thinking they will be 'wonerful' ' fulfilling" etc. but reality is generally never as good as the dream. You have to give up the dream and realize it is just that a dream, and the other couples you see that you think have these wonderful perfect relationships probably really don't they just hide it better. <br /><br />I think in a mix marriage you have to BOTH make the decision this is where you want to be and focus on that decision and why you made that decision. It is very easy for the "what if's" to creap in and make you second guess the decision. The fact remains to stay in a mixed marriage requires significant sacrafice by BOTH parties, and if you focus on what you are giving up, it will lead to a lot of disappointment, but if you focus on what you are keeping or gaining, it makes the battle easier. <br /><br />I hope that helps....Pieces of Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11364908862800192427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729095497951129042.post-89512958203843052712009-05-12T09:12:00.000-07:002009-05-12T09:12:00.000-07:00I just found your blog. I love how you are able t...I just found your blog. I love how you are able to maintain a loving relationship with your former husband.<br /><br />As you are intimately familiar with, most mixed orientation marriages fail. In many cases, it is probably in the best interest, for all concerned, to dissolve the marriage relationship; but, there are a few of us gay men and women who are trying to keep our marriages intact. As the wife of a gay mormon man - what advice do you have for the gay spouse who is trying to keep a mixed orientation marriage alive?<br /><br />btw, I added a link to your blog from my blog (a friend of the family) - I hope you don't mind.Abelard Enigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166049686152203530noreply@blogger.com